Elvis Sightings
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posted by Cthulhu @ 6:25 PM
97 comments
Don't Hire Dr. Deborah Frisch
Please don't hire Dr. Deborah Frisch, she should not be in contact with youth.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
If you've received a visit from teh Crayzee Fayree at your site, or seen her presence elsewhere, let us in on the fun.
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97 Comments:
Bilge:
You are, of course, the Grand Admiral of the fleet. Remember that the standing order is that we offer no quater to prisoners.
Now please step over to my desk. Try not to trip on the skulls and assorted body parts along the way, and you will get used to the screams from the dungeon in time. The lighting is a little week...we have been having issues with the torch makers union.
BrendaK -
Checkez votre email.
Hose -
Feelin' better, I hope?
Hosedragger,
Did she get back to you on that comment at Tim's - Skippy or Jif?
[Heavy echo]
Rabbit? Hose? Anybody?
Oh, well...now that I'm by myself, I've got all the time in the world to read.
[Drops spectacles which, of course, break]
D'oh!
Brenda -
But can I be Mistress of Teh Dark? (cue therimin music)
If you borrow Cassandra Peterson's dress you can be anything you want.
Barkeep! Brenda's glass seems to be empty. Another of whatever she's having tonight.
Fatwa -
Ok, did that.
All -
Does anyone remember all the Deb identities to date? I remember Deb Frisch, Lefty, wordwarrior, warriordumot, Deborah Frisch,. soquepuppet. Any others?
Hey folks-was lost on the other thread-cant mulittask worth a Deb-typing and reading. Thanks for the Sven responses, and thanks too for your guys help last night during my meltdown.
Later
g'night, ottava, sleep tight.
Goodnight fair muse. May your dreams be Homeric.
g'night, Sven. May you have frisch-free dreams!
BrendaK -
I can't think of any others.
Ottava, Sven -
Bye!
Don't forget -
anonymous
Paddy -
Homeric
I read that as "Homoerotic".
I'm cutting myself off.
BrendaK
I know she was anon & annoymous on her site in her comments- but we can't really pin that down can we? I seem to remember she was Auntie Moonbat. It will take a google to her DEB-droppings at other sites to find more.
Hose;
Why sure, Minister...and looky here, in my ridiculously large fringed fore n'aft hat...an entire roll of Cope tins that have been soked in rum by the voodoo practicioners of Barbados.
T'sall yours, mate, I never touch the stuff myself,(the snuff...rum is good).
Quarter for prisoners?
I didn't know prisoners had gotten so expensive.
We used to get ours for free...so many of the buggers that we'd deposit them overboard in mid-ocean to build our Underwater Empire.
(Cuts down on the shrieking and wailing from the holds, y'know...and the stench).
Skulls and body parts? Not a problem for me, Minister, i deduct the cost of my seaboots from my taxes.
Regards;
Hawk - you still need a tax accountant/CPA?
Ducky,
Was doing dishes and left this up-glad I did. Point taken-no offense intended.
Good night
[getting out the Frisch repellant]
[clearing throat in preparation for stentorian proclamation]
Be it known to all that the word used was "Homeric", as in the style of Homer; a reference to Ottavarima's 'nym and the meaning thereof. At no time did I suggest she have dreams of a "homo-erotic" nature, nor in any other way comment, either explicitly or implicitly, that the person known on this blog as "Ottavarima" was at any time, now or in the past, other than a happily married, heterosexual woman. Nor was any suggestion made that she should, would, or might, explore any other type of relationship or experience.
There. That should do it.
Sven...outstanding job. How long did it take for you to scrub teh "Ick" off after realizing Cer Frichenheimer wanted to do the "Wet and Sticky" with you?
No, I have not learned about which peanut butter she prefers, although I will stick with my guess that choosy lunatics choose Jiff.
I am still hurting, but am able to recline right now, so I thought I would make special use of my time. Sorry for the delay,but was reading almost 200 responses.
Ducky -
We know there are fine people living in Eugene, you and yours among them.
And bless your hearts, it's not like y'all invited Special Debbie to move in. Like a miasmic cloud, one day she was just...there
Minister Hose;
Actually have a question for you for your meatspace persona.
How long an air reserve in your SCBA's?
Is there a national standard for the reserve?
Reason I ask is I led, (and put out) a fire in one of the holds of a ship I was on last year. The local firefighters doidn't know their way around our ship or our holds, so I offered to suit up and play "tour guide".
Our shiop carried Draeger SCBA's which gave me a 15 minute reserve.
We went down the ladder at the after end of the hold to the 'tween deck, (the hold took up two decks, the 'tween had a catwalk that ran fore n' aft, which we tried first, perhaps to see the fire).
Ha! couldn't see shee-yot...I don't have to tell you.
So, i decided to back out with 5 minutes remaining.
The two smokeeaters I was guiding decided to stop and hold a conference at the foot of the ladder, while we were still halfway down the smoke-hold.
I had to suggest to the lads that perhaps we could address whatever issue we had up in the comparatively fresh air of the hold above.
I've wondered ever since just how much air those chaps must have had to feel comfortable enough to hold a consultation with each other where and when they did.
Regards;
Bren...
"DF"
"DEB"
Eiger Sanction
Uhm, sorry, anonymouse was me.
Bilge...
Yaaarrrrr!!!
It brings a tear to me one good oiye
Generally the bottles come with 30 minute and 60 minute ratings. The anount of air you use due to work load and your own personal fitness level actually is what counts. We carry 30 minute bottles which allows me 15-20 minutes of work. I gots da big lungs. When going in, on top of al the other equipment, the should bring extra bottles, especially with all the ladders climbing around the holds and such.
While there is no NFPA standard for what they can hold, it is all about the size of the cylinder and how much money the department has and how big you want to go. Standard, however, seems to be 30 minutes since they are smaller bottles and easier and lighter to carry and maneuver around with.
Does that answer the question?
I figured the "Death Dealer" fit well with my "Minister of Defence" idiom.
I just didn't have the avatar up when I made the first posting...it would have worked better
Hose:
Yaaarrrrr!!!
It brings a tear to me one good oiye
Ah hahahaha!
Good one!
Hawk - there are exceptions for military on the holding period/primary residence tests.
Taxpayers may exclude gain on a home sale, provided they have owned and used the home as a principal residence for two of the five years before the sale. A reduced maximum exclusion may apply to those who satisfy part of the two-year rule. Military personnel often retain ownership of a home while away on duty but eventually sell it without returning to live in it, perhaps failing the use test completely.
The new law allows persons on qualified extended duty in the U.S. Armed Services or the Foreign Service to suspend this five-year test period for up to 10 years of such duty time. A taxpayer is on qualified extended duty when at a duty station that is at least 50 miles from the residence sold, or when residing under orders in government housing, for more than 90 days or for an indefinite period.
This change applies to home sales after May 6, 1997. A taxpayer may use this provision for only one property at a time and may exclude gain on only one home sale in any two-year period. Although an amended return must usually be filed within three years of the original return’s due date, the law gives qualifying taxpayers who sold a home before 2001 until Nov. 10, 2004, to file an amended return claiming the exclusion.
In English this means the only gain you would need to POSSIBLY pay tax on would be the recapure of any depreciation you took on the house while it was a rental. Should be hardly any using that 27.5 year life.
Hope that helps - If not, let me know.
I just love how they are blaming us. We never once posted there. Therefore, you can't say we were true trolls, and definately not terrorists. There were no attacks, not even a "what's up?"
However, let's just look at Buttbeau and Felchingboy for a sec, shall we?
What a bunch of lying little hypocrie cowardly jackasses.
Maybe it is just me. I do have morals and values...sure, they are very low, but I have them...anyway, but I just can't understand how people like that can live with themselves or sleep at night.
I guess after all I have lived through and seen, I still am that naive.
Have you guys seen the show "How It's Made"?
Freakin great show.
Hey...where's Pixie been lately?
I think I'll drop her a line and find out why she has been avoiding us. What's she got, like a life or something?
Hose;
Yes it does, thanks.
I noticed their aluminum bottles were shorter but wider than the fiberglass we had aboard, but I suspected that they could have raised the pressure higher than ours could take, which would also give them more time.
I have the "Marlboro lungs", so 15-20 minutes is about my time limit also.
Couple things "lessons learned"...maybe there SHOULD be a national standard, not just for reserve, but also for the fittings. I've seen units on ships that might have been state of the art back in the mid 1960's.
Heck. I trained at the MSC firefighting school with OBA's...the units with the oxygen generator canister on the chest that you started the catalyzitaion by lighting the candle inside.
It would be a good thing if anyone could use anyone elses' bottles, yes?
If your department is in a district with a seaport, by all means come down for a visit and a walkthrough on the local floating firetraps(if you don't already).
I've been doing this gig for twenty years and it still takes me about a week to find my way around a new ship.
Those FF'ers outside that hold...I could see that they were scared to enter.
Heck, if we'd been operational, it would have been one of the ammo holds...which means it would have been protected by an instant-release CO2 system.
No warnings, no horns...Click-WHOOSH!
Instant oxygen-deficient gas chamber.
I wasn't all crazy about going down, but I didn't want to leave two "farmboys" wandering around down there...bad mojo, as they say. not conducive to restful slumber.
Regards;
Hawk - did you guys live in the house before you went overseas? If so - for how long?
Sorry - I don't do a whole lot of individual taxes - my speciality is estate, gift and trust taxation.
They do set sandards for construction, and we have adapters on ours to fit the surrounding departments that don't use SCOTTs, but the amount is up to the department. Sounds like you guys have the steel bottles, whereas all of the new ones tend to be fiberglass wrapped.
It also sounds like they were wearing 60minute bottles, which would make sense if they were going to be running amuck onboard and below decks of a ship.
Hawk - correct - as long as you didn't live within 50 miles of it from the time you returned to the states until it was sold.
Joe -
I'm going for the cuteness award tonight.
Ready your avatars...
Bilgeman - I remember those OBA's from FF school at Treasure Island! Great time once you got past the fear.
We don't have a seaport, but I gots a car and am 90 minutes from the ocean
Brenda:
Be careful, for when my bro pops in with the Hamtaro.
Using that little guy is just not fair.
Pixie is coming on for a sec to say hi.
Sneak peak! Do not look directly into its eyes!
Brenda...are you implying that my avatar is not cute?
Uh, that's peek!
Hey all! Taking Gabberella to Disneyland tomorrow. It's been a hot, hot, hot week at work.
No more excuses.
I'll be back to see you all on Monday... hopefully I'll have time to catch up during "down time" in CA.
Miss you all ever so much!!!!!!!!!
But I'll leave hamtaro to Pet-mo.
Hi Pixie!
Bring me back a "Grumpy" coffe mug
Hose -
Not that yours isn't cute, just...you know...where are the adorable huuuuge eyes?
I won't post my pic on here, so you will just have to look at the pics I sent you for the adorable eyes.
Teh Heh Teh heh ;)
Well, if you don't have huuuuge eyes on your avatar, you could always try for shock value!
Not that your actual pics are shocking, I mean in an avatar-sense.
Brenda:
I love the beanie, but remember, we're on funny hat patrol!
Did someone ask for coffee?
Hmm! I want COFFEE!
Hey! Only Raichu, Pikachu's evil twin, can beat him up!
Allright..."Fantastic Four" in HD with Dolby Surround. Heaven...I'm in heaven...
Haven't seen it yet. Woo Hoo!!!!!!
Hose:
Alright! Jessica Alba!
Hose;
Yeah, I've also thought that it would have been a pretty good joke on me if they had pulled out a deck of cards and started a game...
...but this department was part of a shipyard, and they knew hw bad our fires can be.
BTW, the ship I was on before this one.
The real story starts on page 12...good reading about a bad day:
http://www.uscg.mil/hq/g-m/moa/docs/carter.pdf
Regards;
Anyway...the lawyers are already aware of the Root beer site, so nothing they do really is of any consequence. If they want it, they will get it. Not that there is really much more anyone needs to prove pattern and intent.
It's peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time
Where he at, Where he at, Where he at, Where he at
There he go, There he go, There he go, There he go
Peanut butter jelly, Peanut butter jelly, Peanut butter jelly, Peanut butter jelly
Do the peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly,
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat, Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat
Now, break it down and freeze
Now, break it down and freeze
Now, break it down and freeze
Now, break it down and freeze
Now tic tac toe (uh-huh)
Tic tac toe (let's go)
Tic tac toe (you got it)
Tic tac toe (let's ride)
Now, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, your style
Now, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, your style
Where he at, Where he at, Where he at, Where he at
There he go, There he go, There he go, There he go
It's peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time
Where he at, Where he at, Where he at, Where he at
There he go, There he go, There he go, There he go
Peanut butter jelly, Peanut butter jelly, Peanut butter jelly, Peanut butter jelly
Do the peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly,
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat, Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat
Now, break it down and freeze
Now, break it down and freeze
Now, break it down and freeze
Now, break it down and freeze
Now tic tac toe (uh-huh)
Tic tac toe (let's go)
Tic tac toe (you got it)
Tic tac toe (let's ride)
Now, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, your style
Now, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, your style
Where he at, Where he at, Where he at, Where he at
There he go, There he go, There he go, There he go
Bilge:
Looks awesome. I love reading the "After-action"s. You will forgive me, however, if I read it later. Ad this was one you were on?
Woo hoo! Banana dance!
Thanks. Now I have "Brian" from "Family Guy" doing that in my head. What the hell is that from anyway?
pausing...back later...
Too cute?
I got yer two cute right here.
Dance tovarisch! Dance!
Hawk - I'm certain you have no capital gain issues on the sale.
The only thing you may need to do is recapture PART of the depreciation you took (or could have taken) while it was a rental.
Here's an example I found:
Here's what recapture means. It means you have to pay tax on the gains that are attributed to depreciation. And these gains are taxed at your ordinary income tax rates, not at the much lower long-term capital gains tax rates. This is explained in IRS Publication 523, Selling Your Home, in the section entitled Business Use or Rental of Home (link to IRS Web site).
Let's provide an example with numbers to illustrate how depreciation recapture works in real life. I'm going to be making these numbers up. Your actual tax situation will be different. Let's say you bought the home for $120,000. And you started renting out the house on July 1, 1997. (This is conveniently located after the May 6, 1997, cutoff date. I'm trying not to have a math headache today.) You would have claimed $2,000 in depreciation in 1997, $4,363 in 1998, and $4,363 every full year after that that your property was rented out. So let's say the property was last rented in December 2005. This would give you eight full years of depreciation, and one partial year of depreciation, for a total of $36,904. This total depreciation is what accountants call "accumulated depreciation."
Accumulated depreciation reduces your cost basis in the property. So your initial cost of $120,000 gets reduced by this accumulated depreciation of $36,904, leaving you with an "adjusted cost basis" of $83,096. There may be other adjustments to your cost basis as well, such as capital improvements (roof, foundation, etc.).
Now, let's say the house will be worth $250,000 when it is sold, and you plan to sell the house after meeting the two-out-of-five year rule. The selling price minus the adjusted cost basis will equal the gain or loss. In this case, $250,000 minus $83,096 equals a gain of $166,904. Here's where the fun begins. Of this gain, the first $83,096 is taxed at ordinary income tax rates as depreciation recapture. (These are called "ordinary gains.") The remainder is considered capital gains. The capital gain portion in our example is $166,904 total gain minus $83,096 ordinary gain equals $83,808 capital gain. Only capital gain portion can be excluded under Section 121, up to the limits I mentioned above. As long as you live there a total of 24 months out of the 60 months preceding the sale of the house, these capital gains can be excluded.
Now, I hear a tiny voice somewhere saying, "Ah, well what if I didn't claim any depreciation? Then I won't have to recapture the depreciation." This wily tax strategy is already anticipated in the tax law. You must recapture depreciation you actually claimed or could have claimed for renting out the house.
The bottom line, in this example, is that your total gain is partially excluded and partially taxed. You will report the sale on IRS Form 4797 (Sale of Business Property).
Paddy:
Alright! Russian dancing!
Beau kitty vs. Frisch
Found it online.
OK kids...gotta movie to watch. Nightie nite.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Mr. Bilge...you have the Conn
Mammy! How I love ya! How I love ya, my dear ol' Mammy!
Wow, avatar talent show!
Awww, Brenda's gone.
Dance Froggy Dance!
Betty's cute.
Aww, she started it.
Yay, she's back!
"Mr. Bilge...you have the Conn"
Aye, Minister. I have the watch.
(surveys the sweaty, out of breath DHDers at their keyboard/oars, notes that we have 95 comments on this thread, and over 100 on the last.)
Orders telegraph to "slow ahead".
"Helmsman, maintain our present course. post a bow lookout and put her on the "Iron Mike" once he checks in.
I'll be in my stateroom if you need me."
Thatisall;
Ohhhh, yes, this is cuuuuute!
Beeee the llama!
here's a llama
there's a llama
and another little llama
fuzzy llama
funny llama
llama llama
duck
llama llama
cheesecake
llama
tablet
brick
potato
llama
llama llama
mushroom
llama
llama llama
duck
i was once a treehouse
i lived in a cake
but i never saw the way
the orange slayed the rake
i was only three years dead
but it told a tale
and now listen, little child
to the safety rail
did you ever see a llama
kiss a llama
on the llama
llama's llama
tastes of llama
llama llama
duck
half a llama
twice the llama
not a llama
farmer
llama
llama in a car
alarm a llama
llama
duck
is THIS how it's told now?
is it all so old?
is it made of lemon juice?
doorknob
ankle
cold
now my song is getting thin
i've run out of luck
time for me to retire now
and become a duck
The one-l lama,
He's a priest.
The two-l llama,
He's a beast.
And I will bet
A silk pajama
There isn't any
Three-l lllama.
-- Ogden Nash
Now here's an avatar I can get behind.
Hawk - there should be some ordinary income recapture - but remember this resulted in deductions in those years you claimed the depreciation.
I am assuming you had rental losses all those years and didn't suspend those losses under the passive activity rules?
no hurry, but there's a new thread for the night-owls.
Brenda's back!!
Happy dance!
Hawk:
Amish bin Laden
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hawk -
Snoopy's got your wing.
Hawk - find a CPA (sole practice type) - do NOT use H&R Block or those types. They will know how to minimize your tax exposure on this transaction. Much easier working with someone have-to-face vs. on a gerbil message board.
Hawk - not sure deploying will help with any income on the house - i.e. deferring. I believe it's just the pay earned in the CZ that derives the benefit.
Cut and paste anything you need to.
Good luck and take care!
I took teh liberty of typing up
teh cray zee I was party to, as
well as a play-by-play ;) over
on tehdebabbeyfiles
Enjoy! :D
teh!™
Sven~~
If u ever wanna give
tehdebabbeyfiles an
exclusive, BrendaK
has my email.
We're all teh ears!
teh™
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