Friday, September 01, 2006

There's a raft of new posts over at Casa Insana. Most of it is forgettable drivel, or excellent Plaintiff's Evidence. Jeff's attorney thanks you, Dr. Deborah Frisch, for making his job so very easy. (No, I'm not in contact with him. I just hear him laughing. I only live a thousand or so miles away; it's hard not to.)

I don't want to belabor the obvious since it's so repetitious, though I do note that the fact that we have been donating to Jeff's tip jar has really rankled her.

No, the only thing that really bothers me this morning is this:
So now we're scheduled for a court date in November and I cannot see how discussing:

a. the restraining order and how Jeff blatantly perjured himself in it
b. the police report, where he committed more subtle perjury
c. the lingering disagreement about who wrote the pedophilic auntie moonbat/saliva quote and how funny the count without the O joke is

violates the RO from Colorado.
First: leave "perjury" questions to the judge. I'm sure you'll get a master class on the subject in November.

I'm sure you'll also learn tons about legal terms like "patterns of behavior," "credibility," and "batshit crazy."

But really, item C. I know we've been over this, but it bears repeating:

"count without the O" is not funny.

I performed standup for five years. I sold jokes to other comics. I headlined clubs where the bar was built on a pile of the severed heads of funnier comics than you'll ever be.

"count without the O" is a class A - or should that be class O? - felony count of First Degree Lame. It sucks. It's not even Margaret Cho funny.

I know you never made it past Open Mic night, but trust me on this: when you become a Made comic, and you try THAT hard to sell something THAT unfunny, the Family gets very unhappy.

I remember a prop comic once, lived in Terre Haute. Would not shut up about this bit he used to do with a glazed donut and a Kleenex. It was so bad it couldn't be used at Guantanamo. One day he woke up with the severed head of his favorite rubber chicken at the foot of his bed.

I'm saying this, Deb, because I care. It's not even a joke. It's not clever. It's a poorly-thought takeoff of the whole "C*ckula" thing you didn't even make up. You stole someone else's joke, and you made it even less funny - this is a mortal sin in comedy.

Deb, you're basing your entire defense on a flipping Photoshopped cereal box. It's not even a good likeness, dammit! Jeff is Jewish; the Cockula on the box still has his cowl. (Where's a digital moyl when you need one?)

The only humor you are capable of is unintentional. Your life in recent weeks is a laugh riot, but it's the worst kind of comedy - the kind where you make the audience feel bad about themselves for laughing at you. You're Andrew Dice Clay, with less gift for rhyme and still less likeability. You are to comedy what Andy Dick is to comedy. You couldn't get a gig at a Comedy Central roast. I've got TAPEWORMS that have worked a comedy central roast.

You. Are. Not. Funny.

And any lawsuit based on a demand that someone find that pathetic excuse for a joke funny is doomed to fail.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have another donation to make to the Protein Wisdom tip jar.

53 Comments:

At 9:56 AM, Blogger Bilgeman said...

Sulla:

"I headlined clubs where the bar was built on a pile of the severed heads of funnier comics than you'll ever be."

I remember that joint! I was the guy asleep on the floor behind that bar.

It wasnt so bad, once you got used to the smell and the sticky floor.

Regards;

 
At 10:08 AM, Blogger Ducky said...

Sulla,

testing my avatar

Ducky

 
At 10:11 AM, Blogger Yoda said...

Sulla
That was some good stuff!

 
At 10:18 AM, Blogger tesla said...

Dear good Sir Sulla,
I took the Rum and Monkey test and it came up Tesla. Hmmmmm
Took the test backwards and it came up Caligula. Double hmmmmm
Anyways, I'm really new to this blog stuff. Would some kind sole, errr soul (too much DeanO) plz tell me how the avatar thingy works. Got a couple of Tesla pics but maybe a bolt of lightning would be better.

 
At 10:21 AM, Blogger Ducky said...

No difference between RL Deb and SWP Deb - you can trust me on that.

 
At 10:33 AM, Blogger joeschmo1of3 said...

Mornin' All! And Good Morning to all de-lurkers!

Sulla: You brought the Tommy's burger aftermath on yourself! Remember to pronounce greasy with a greazy! Mmm... chili cheese fries with extra raw onions... mmm.

I welcome dean0! After Staci's input and reading through his stuff, I believe Staci. If the left can have a Colbert, why can't the right have our version of a DKos Kid?

Regarding Deb's wikiality of the facts: again? Still framing the restraining order on only the Jonbenet/Auntie Moonbat comments. No word on the sockpuppeting of the two year old and Mrs. Goldstein on PW, Ace, and Patterico 2 weeks later, which began the restraining order petition. Still blaming Goldstein for not practicing her version of a "real democratic blogosphere," where all comments are monitored, deleted, and abusers are banned if they don't agree with the blog manager. So. Tiresome.

Like a broken record on a broken record player.

 
At 10:34 AM, Blogger Sulla said...

Tesla,

If you have a picture anywhere on the Internet, just link to it from your Blogger profile page.

If not, it's a little more complicated. You have to write a post on your own blog, upload a picture there, then copy the link it makes into the profile page.

This is vague because I haven't done it often so don't have it off the top of my head.

To start, log into Blogger and then go to blogger.com/home. Select Edit Profile. you add the link to "photo URL".

I belive Joe has explicit instructions in another thread; perhaps he can repost here.

 
At 10:37 AM, Blogger Ducky said...

Regarding upload of photo on Blogger, click the help button. Instructions are very easy to follow.

 
At 10:39 AM, Blogger Sulla said...

Joe,

exactly right.

I know we discussed this a few days ago. But it's insane that she's not letting go of her Auntie Moonbat denials when she's done so much worse since, from the suicide notes to sockpuppeting Jeff's wife and kid, etc.

She doesn't understand, or refuses to acknowledge to herself, the fierce protectiveness most of us have toward young children. Even those of us who don't have them. To accuse a parent of pedophilia even once is utterly reprehensible, and to do so repeatedly over the course of weeks is (to borrow her favorite word) actionable.

 
At 10:40 AM, Blogger John_Q said...

sulla,
I think I caught your act. Your tapeworms had me in stitches.

Your comment about teh Deb only being funny when it's unintentional is spot on. That's what makes it so funny. When she is serious, she's hilarious, when she is trying to be funny, she's just patheically sad.

 
At 10:47 AM, Blogger Religious Zealot said...

"She doesn't understand, or refuses to acknowledge to herself, the fierce protectiveness most of us have toward young children. "

One of the first things I noticed about Deb was her "infatuation" with the male reproductive organ and with actual procreation.

Her continued "attacks" on these topics (and using them as insults toward others) reminds me of that line from Shakespeare: "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

In other words, she belittles that which she so desperately needs/craves.

That all being said, a person who thinks that someone's 2 YO child is "fair game" is a person who needs to be locked up until they no longer pose a physical threat to anyone.

 
At 10:50 AM, Blogger Hosedragger said...

How dare you impugn the name of "The Dice Man" like that. That is just wrong man...just wrong.



Just got back from The "Evil WalMart" with new "Season 8 of 'SouthPark'" in hand. Enjoying it immensley. Sweeeeeeeeet! Super sweeeeeeeeet.

 
At 10:52 AM, Blogger Sulla said...

Sorry, Hosedragger. Didn't mean to belittle the Diceman.

Ford Fairlane? Genius.

Please don't hurt me.

 
At 10:53 AM, Blogger Paddy O'Furnijur said...

Dr. DeeDeeDee's "joke" is a classic example of a double-detent.

Think about it.

Explanations on sale in the lobby.

 
At 10:54 AM, Blogger John_Q said...

RZ,
I'm with you on that. I can't even begin to wrap what's left of my alleged mind around even entertaining the idea of making sexual comments about a 2 yr old. Trust me when I tell you that when you have succeeded in wierding me out, you've really done something. I co-authored the book on wacky and that crap is too much for even me.

The list of teh Debs problems is almost infinit. My guess is that most of it started in childhood when something made her change her citizenship from the U.S. of A to Lesbania.

 
At 10:55 AM, Blogger Blizzardlane said...

She's got another post about "doc rox" (apparently her ex-squeeze in Arizona), hinting that she may call again tonight. I don't think she quite grasps that phone lines work in both directions.

Deb, hon, she's just not that into you.

 
At 11:03 AM, Blogger Hawksp said...

Hi All,

Back from the bank. Enjoying the 4 day now.

Whoever asked about the padio furniture, it's okay. We just had a "lot" of rain. Little to no wind. Disk didn't work. The girls were watchig a DVD as I played with my new printer.

Oh, did I mention I bought a new printer. It slices, it dices...

But that's enough of me talking about my new printer...

You guys talk about my new printer.

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger Hawksp said...

"Dish" didn't work...

 
At 11:10 AM, Blogger Religious Zealot said...

Early on into this whole soap opera, someone made a comment that I still think hits pretty close to the truth. I don't remember who wrote it or where I read it, but the commenter suggested that what Deb was trying to accomplish was something akin to "suicide by cop".

That is, she was deliberately crossing a line hoping to become some kind of martyr.

And the one line almost guaranteed to get a response is the one protecting children.

Here I'm reminded of this article on CNN: http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/08/31/neighbor.stabbing.ap/index.html

I think it really, really GALLS Deb that Jeff has refused to play her game, and thus she continues to try to incite him.

 
At 11:10 AM, Blogger joeschmo1of3 said...

Hawk!

It's good to see Ernesto didn't drown you guys out.

Now, about this printer of yours [ahem]

Gather round folks, no shoving, plenty of room, plenty of room. Take a gander at this new Ebson, what's that kid? It says Epson on the side? Who asked you? This new Epson is guaranteed to cut your meal preparation time in half. What? You again? It's a printer? What the heck is that? Shoo, kid, you bother me. Now, this new Epson has three modes, yessiree, lots of features, for all your [flips through manual] Printing needs. You turn it on, load the veggies in... What? I told you to get outta here kid. What do mean it doesn't print on vegetables? I thought this was a cooking expo! Sorry folks, next demonstration will be in half an hour. You. You kid, c'mere. Wanna make 2 bits?

 
At 11:16 AM, Blogger Hawksp said...

WooHoo, Joe you hit the nail on the head.

We were supposed to have dinner tonight with the friend/realitor/former division retention NCO for the 82ND Airborne to celebrate him selling our rental property. But, methinks it might be a little tough to stop printing dvds and digitalizing my old 35mm negatives.

Talk amoungst yaselves!

 
At 11:16 AM, Blogger Sulla said...

zealot,

You don't think that after all this time she's STILL trying to get him to ban her?

The sad thing is, she probably is. She keeps harping on the fact that he didn't delete the comments, so obviously it's HIS fault they're visible.

His. Not the fault of the person who wrote them in the first place.

Whoopie Goldberg complained, shortly after that disastrous Kerry/Edwards rally, that she had a first amendment right to not be criticized for something she said. yes, Whoopie, the first amendment says that you can say anything you want and we can't say anything about it.

Deborah Frisch is simply the logical end-point of that line of thinking: all freedom, no consequences. For her, anyway.

 
At 11:17 AM, Blogger Hawksp said...

Oh BTW Ducky,

Nice legs!

(hooting and whistling like the wolf from tom and jerry)

 
At 11:18 AM, Blogger Hawksp said...

Birds of a feather...

 
At 11:23 AM, Blogger Religious Zealot said...

Sulla,

You don't think that after all this time she's STILL trying to get him to ban her?

I'm not sure if that is a rhetorical question or not, so I'll answer it as a "straight" (heh) question.

Forget the simple banning, I wonder sometimes if what she really wants is for Jeff to track her down and do harm upon her ("suicide by trolling").

 
At 11:25 AM, Blogger OttavaRima said...

well, i've clearly got some catching up to do. who is dean?

and why didn't one of you page me at the newark airport like i asked when the poo started flying? i was there for 8 freaking hours wednesday.

 
At 11:30 AM, Blogger Dianna said...

So, Wednesday is the part of teh cycle where she seems on the verge of figuring out that she's in trouble, then it all goes to hell.

Got it.

Excellent set of observations, Sulla.

 
At 11:33 AM, Blogger Hawksp said...

Must return some movies before dinner.

Boy it sure is hard to leave the new printer all by itself.

Otta, I saw the woofie was not as seroius as suspected, happy for you.

Later all.

 
At 11:34 AM, Blogger Hawksp said...

serious

yikes

 
At 11:35 AM, Blogger Paddy O'Furnijur said...

We tried Ottava. We asked the good folks at Newark International to put the message in heroic verse over the P.A. system so you'd be sure to hear it. Maybe they had trouble fitting in the phrase "Please pick up the white courtesy phone."

 
At 11:39 AM, Blogger Hosedragger said...

No, not necessarily Jeff. She wants somebody to do it though. her earliest comments alluded to it, and her repeated claims that she is being "stalked" confirms it. Remember, she was claiming Jeff was going to get his goons to come and "oph" her. But it wasn't just Jeff. As far back as 2005, Jan., she was saying how someday some right-winger would "oph" a left wing blog person. She has been hoping to be that person. You have to go back and look at the earlier stuff and her first replys on PW.

She tried to be a verbal martyr, it didn't work. She also now wants to be an actual martyr. To what end, who knows as she wouldn't be able to enjoy her martyrdom...nor would anyone care.

So now I think she is hoping to be an incarcerated martyr. Maybe she will write her own "Mein Kampf" while in prison. I don't think the lifestyle she desires is what she thinks it will be.

 
At 11:40 AM, Blogger Hosedragger said...

Sulla...no worries about busting an aneurism. As to whether DeanO was real or not...don't know, and more importantly, don't care. All I know is I let lose with Teh Funnie

 
At 11:41 AM, Blogger Sulla said...

Zealot,

I meant it as a "lightbulb" moment. Hadn't thought of it like that. But it has a ring of truth.

She's certainly getting more attention than she has in a long, long time - playing the martyr, and finding herself on the receiving end of actual legal trouble. it's not fun, I'm sure, but it may also validate her "see? i'm a victim" mindset.

 
At 11:41 AM, Blogger Victoria said...

Just a side note (for religious zealot):

to post a link in the comment section try the following

(a href="http://www.websitename.com")link's name here(/a) but use "<" and ">" instead of the parantheses.

 
At 11:44 AM, Blogger Timothy said...

This morning in a meeting I made a bulemia joke. And, yet, I still wouldn't bring somebody's kid into a blog trolling match.

 
At 11:45 AM, Blogger Victoria said...

Um...how come my avatar doesn't show?

 
At 11:46 AM, Blogger X_LA_Native said...

Freedom OF Speech, not to be confused with Freedom FROM Speech.

 
At 11:47 AM, Blogger Religious Zealot said...

hosedragger,
I agree in general with what you are saying.

I'm sure she'd be "happy" however it was that "got her."

Although I really believe that she has individually targeted Jeff.

And the fact that he has ignored her since the big "blow up" has annoyed her to no end.

Of course, what she doesn't realize is that even IF something happened, it wouldn't be the first (Alan Berg anyone?) nor would she be lifted as some martyr.

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger Hosedragger said...

Zealot:

There you go again, thinking she uses "Google". I know and you know and everyone else knows she wouldn't be a martyr...however she thinks she is and will be.

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger Paddy O'Furnijur said...

Victoria,
Because you are dressed in a demure, proper fashion.

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger Sulla said...

new thread.

 
At 11:51 AM, Blogger Religious Zealot said...

I hadn't heard about Whoopi's defense.

I guess she was taking a page out of the Dixie Chick's (Tim Robbins, Alec Baldwin's, Howard Dean's, etc. etc.) playbook.

"I can insult anyone I want, but you can't insult me."

 
At 11:52 AM, Blogger Religious Zealot said...

victoria,
Thanks. I forgot what the HTML tag was (I'm used to markup codes)

 
At 11:53 AM, Blogger Victoria said...

Paddy O' -- no worse that most of the ladies by supermarket checkouts ;)

*runs away sobbing*

 
At 11:58 AM, Blogger Paddy O'Furnijur said...

No need to run away Victoria. You are dressing appropriately for the work place. There is never any shame in that. It let's us focus on our work, instead of your assets. If you'd like to show a little avatar after work, I'm sure none of us would object. In fact, we'd encourage it.

 
At 12:01 PM, Blogger Ducky said...

Hawk,

Awe gee, thanks for the compliment. I've always been a bit self-conscious as my legs are rather long for a duck.

I'm grateful to you and Sulla for the Epson tip - going out this weekend to replace the home printer as the current one is going off to college with our son. Maybe if I start on Sunday I can get all of our 35 mm negs transferred to digital by the end of time.

RE: Deb. Classic perpetrator wearing victim's clothing.

 
At 12:06 PM, Blogger tim said...

Gosh, looks like we have another debinition:

perjury = Anything someone says in a legal context, if I don't like it.

Ex: I'm sure we'll end up seeing this come November: "I was so stoked at the chance to catch JG in his perjury--but then the police officer perjured himself (to cover for JG), and then the judge perjured himself, to cover for the police officer! And then...."

 
At 12:24 PM, Blogger BrendaK said...

Sulla -

I actually have my very own rubber chicken. It glares down from the 'fridge.

Someone cutting off it's little rubber head...[shudder]

You REAL comedians are obviously not people to triffle with.

 
At 12:30 PM, Blogger joeschmo1of3 said...

Hey Brenda:

New helmety goodness over at the Grounds!

 
At 12:30 PM, Blogger Sulla said...

Brenda,

I think your rubber chicken is safe.

Mr. Clucky had it coming.

 
At 12:58 PM, Blogger BrendaK said...

JOE!

I'm at the client's office - I'll have to wait until I get home.

Yay! More helmety goodness! Is the part of the Clone Wars? I love the Clone Wars.

 
At 1:01 PM, Blogger joeschmo1of3 said...

Brenda:

Sadly, no Clones this week. Those guys are putting together episode 2, but I'm sure you'll enjoy what I found. It has choreography!

 
At 1:09 PM, Blogger BrendaK said...

Joe -

Ooooooooooooo, Choreography!

Those really are great, I'm not just pulling your helmet. I be eternally in your debt for the whole Corpsehumping thing.

 

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