Monday, August 14, 2006

Our own Sulla makes the fisk of the night!
Dear Mr. Divine

I thought she was an atheist? Getting kinda formal with the Guy Upstairs, ain't she? (well, we are talking about SEALS...)

I am the former director of the Decision, Risk and Management Sciences Program at the National Science Foundation.

"I am also a former tenure-track professor, a former adjunct lecturer, and former dog walker. I am currently working as a standup comic in Eugene, Oregon, if by working you mean free soft drinks and bus fare."

On July 6, I had a disagreement with a gentleman from Colorado on his web site regarding the wisdom of the war in Iraq.

He adopted me as his pet moonbat, but it didn't work out too well.

Oh yeah. Add "former official pet moonbat, Protein Wisdom, June 2006" to my curriculum vitae.

The conversation got nasty and I said something very mean and nasty to the effect that I would not care if harm came to my combatant's child.

Along with some other stuff that I didn't write, though someone at my keyboard at the same time as me did. Let's call her "Lilith." That's what my dog calls her.

A former Navy SEAL named Matthew Heidt lied about what happened (saying I threatened the child when I merely expressed indifference to his well-being)

These are not the droids you're looking for.

and posted my employer's contact information on his website to incite people to call my boss so I would get in trouble.

He incited them by quoting me faithfully. Well, not me, Lilith. He quoted Lilith. The bastard.

Thanks for the correction, Woofie.

After 300 people emailed my boss on July 8, I felt forced to resign.

But I didn't like the stupid job anyway, so he did me a favor, really.

Mr. Heidt also posted my home address at the same time he posted lies about me, which can only be interpreted as an attempt to incite physical violence against me.

Because, you know, people are dying to go to FRIGGING ARIZONA IN THE FRIGGING SUMMER just to work up a sweat roughing up a middle-aged douche like me.

It is disgusting for a former Navy SEAL to try to incite violence against a lesbian.

Damn, I'm glad I'm not straight. Cuz if he'd incited violence against a breeder, then, well, I'd have been all for it. Overpopulation and all that.

Nowhere NEAR as bad as the Marines who rape and murder Iraqi civilians, of course, but still dishonorable.

Woofie made me put that in. Cuz really, who gives a rip about Iraqi civilians? We're talking about an ADJUNCT LECTURE job, fercryinoutloud. You know how tough it is to get that kinda sweet gig with only an Ivy League PH.D?

Mr. Heidt a.k.a. Froggy@blackfive was an unethical word warrior. He is despicable and an embarrassment to your organization.

Damn, that's good vodka.

I am wondering if there is a public relations person I could speak to about my grievances with the former Navy SEAL who was by far, the least honorable combatant in the incident?

Cuz you know, it's not like you have really IMPORTANT stuff to do, like preserving, protecting and defending the Constitution. I mean, that stuff's for suckers. We know it's all about foreign pooter and blowin' shit up.

Deborah Frisch, Ph.D.
Eugene, OR


I'll be at Peabody's this Wednesday, if you want to catch my high-LAR-ious Stephen-Colbertish topical humor, such as how Israel is Auschwitzing Lebanon and how bloody brilliant I am cuz I can say ephu bookoo in my erudite multilingual way. kapeesh?
Nice job Sulla!

1 Comments:

At 10:28 AM, Blogger BrendaK said...

And a fine fisking it is!

 

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