Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Official Frischmas Eve Poetry Thread

Yesterday belonged to Hosedragger. Tuesday's Jour de la muse de grand poitrine saw our resident fireman whip out no fewer than a full score - that's twenty, Deb - of poems and parodies.

All entries you'd like considered since last week's voting should be copied here to simplify the voting process.


At 6:46 AM, Blogger Texette said...

Poems, poems? Is a song a poem? I finally got a song, and they liked me! They really liked me!!! Okay, so they SAID they liked the song, but I'm sure they like ME, too. Pretty sure. Some of them.

And copy it here? Copy? Not type it all over again? Oh.
(Dumb blonde voice) You can do that? Huh.
(Defensively) So I had secretaries, so what! Does that make me a bad person? If you cut me, do I not bleed?

I need some of Hosedragger's "magic coffe ride".

At 7:12 AM, Blogger Texette said...

Coffee, not coffee. Please.

At 7:12 AM, Blogger Texette said...

Okay, coffee, not coffe. Help.

At 8:11 AM, Blogger tim said...

I have the same question: if we offer a "sung-to-the-tune-of" set of lyrics, is that eligible?

p.s. teh!™

At 10:59 AM, Blogger Sulla said...


absodamnlutely. song parodies are fine to me.

if the purists complain, we can separate the poets from the songwriters.

At 11:08 AM, Blogger joeschmo1of3 said...


If it weren't for song parodies, I wouldn't have been a fan of the Animaniacs. "I'm Wakko, I'm Yakko, and I'm cuuuute!"

At 11:11 AM, Blogger tim said...

Thanks sulla! :)

Here's my attempt (refinements/suggestions welcome!)


(sung to the tune of “867-5309/Jenny,” by Tommy Tutone
Original lyrics at:

Debbie, Debbie why do you
fling poo?/
Don’t y’know yet we'll just laugh
at you?/
I know you think we’re blind to
your I.P.-host/
--but we can smell teh vodka
on your post!

Debbie, don’t flame our website/
you just can’t help but bomb./
Debbie, don’t flame our website/

Debbie, Debbie, don’t get
too tipsy/
‘coz when you’re sloshed,
it brings on teh cray zee/
We tried to warn you before:
don’t be such a b*tch/
But you refused to pay
and spewed your batfrisch.

Debbie, don’t flame our website/
you just can’t help but bomb./
Debbie, don’t flame our website/

We got it, we got it!
We got the number to your cell!
We got it, we got it!
We’re gonna call you and shout
“Go to hell!”

[guitar solo]

Debbie, don’t flame our website/
you just can’t help but bomb./
Debbie, don’t flame our website/

Debbie, Debbie why do you fling poo? (D.H.D.D.F-dot-com)
For the price of a shot we can always laugh at you.
//fade out//

p.s. teh!™

At 11:14 AM, Blogger Texette said...

I love the song.
I love the teh.

At 11:18 AM, Blogger tim said...


Thanx, Texette


At 11:27 AM, Blogger joeschmo1of3 said...


Nice! Now I have the tune stuck in my head! [D-H-D-D-F-dot-com]

At 11:33 AM, Blogger tim said...

Joe~~Imagine my plight: I've been humming it all day--and my co-workers are wondering why I keep laughing for no dang reason! :D

p.s. teh!™

At 5:49 PM, Blogger Sulla said...

Here's Texette's contribution, from an earlier thread.

Texette said...

Okay, amigos. I know little about troubleshooting PC's, but I do like dancin', so with apologies to Johnny Cash: "Women's Prison Blues":

We heard Teh Crazee comin',
It rolled on round teh bend,
She ain't seen teh sunshine,
Since we don't know when,
She's stuck in Women's Prison,
Where time keeps draggin' on,
Because Teh Crazee kept on rollin',
On down to Old Tucson.

When she was just a baby,
Her Mama told her "Son,
Always be a good boy,
Don't ever play with puns",
But she trolled a man in Denver,
Said "If your child should die",
When we saw Teh Crazee comin',
We hung our heads and sighed.

She knows there's smart folks postin',
At teh VBS website,
She knows they're drinking somethin',
And havin' a great night,
But she knows she cannot join them,
She knows she can't be free,
And those peeps all keep a-laughin',
Because it's so phunee.

Well, if they freed her from teh prison,
VBS-ers would not mind,
They know she would keep crossin',
Over every blessed line,
Far from Women's Prison,
That's where she wants to stay,
But the green-can-man keeps comin',
To carry her away.

At 5:50 PM, Blogger tim said...

U beat me to it, Sulla :)

p.s. teh!™

At 6:17 PM, Blogger Texette said...

Okay, the country muse has struck again, in a very minor way. I was spot-cleaning the carpet when it came to me. Mindless work, mindless lyrics: "Please Release Me" (that's the song).

Please release me, let me go,
And I won't stalk u any mo',
To waste my gifts would be a sin,
Release me, and let me blog again.

I have found a new love, dear,
But Nedra won't come see me here,
My toys are warm, this cell is cold,
Release me, green-can-man, let me go.

(Key change)

Please release me, can't u see,
How aw sum it is to be me,
To stay in jail would bring me pain,
So, release me, and let me blog again.

At 6:18 PM, Blogger Texette said...

Thank you, Sulla.

Thank you, Tim.


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