Wednesday, August 16, 2006

It's time for me to step up to the comendy plate again. I fell off the last two times, but my wounds have healed and I am ready to hear crickets again...

Ahem

A poem for "teh cycle"-eve.


It was the night before Frischmas and all through the blogs
Not a pundit was posting, not even about dogs
The DHD-ers were huddled with shotglasses, one ounce
The promise of “teh crazy” making them ready to pounce

With BrendaK in a sockpuppet and Hawksp in a rant,
We all tried to look away, but we just can’t
When out in “you jean” there arouse such a clatter
OregonMuse was chosen to see what was the matter

South(west)paw was in a tizzy, OregonMuse reports
Dr. Deb says with Steven Colbert she wants to consort
To get his attention, “teh crazy” must be white hot
So out comes “teh vodka”, twenty-one shots

“Now Boo Kitty!”, “now Fatwa!”, “now BlizzardLane and Rabbit!”
“On JoeSchmo!”, “on Staci”, a TV spot’s open and I want to grab it!
Feed me some comedy; it’s time to get tough!
I can’t make the “Colbert Report” with my original stuff!

What happens next, nobody knows
We have to wait for what “teh cycle” throws.

Update: Pheeeeew! The world is sane again for another day.

Thanks everyone!


Update II: If you have not read this comment thread, do yourself a favor and do so now. It's "teh crazy"-eve poetry slam!

Tell me something. Why is it that this motley crue had waaaaay more poetry talent that a certain PhD? Just sayin'

36 Comments:

At 4:50 PM, Blogger Rabbit said...

I LOVE IT

 
At 5:09 PM, Blogger Hawksp said...

Wow,

It's like making the "A"-list.

Loved it!

 
At 5:18 PM, Blogger X_LA_Native said...

Nicely done Sinner!

 
At 5:27 PM, Blogger tim said...

Sri, cna i hvae aonother?

Wlel dnoe, sniner!

:)

 
At 5:47 PM, Blogger John Henry said...

Who knew?

dfrisch.blogspot.com was available so I snapped it up. I don't plan on using it at present.

What I am going to do is keep is at the 1st prize in what I am calling the "King-Hell, Bull-Goose Looney" contest now going on at www.debfrisch.com

I think that will be me. But that is just my opinion. I need your votes in the comments section at www.dfrisch.blogspot.com

Vote for me, I am seriously CRAZEEE!!!

John

 
At 5:53 PM, Blogger BrendaK said...

You got teh funee going on.

Love it!

 
At 5:57 PM, Blogger joeschmo1of3 said...

Hey Dudes,

Here's a little something I just cranked out:

'Twas frischy, and the tired peeps
Did hoot and gibber at the mofo;
All batty were the lunar creeps,
And teh WTF Vodka™ did flow.

'Beware the Frischerbat, my peep!
The mouth that snaps, the claws misspell!
Beware the sockpuppets, and keep
away from teh crazy® hell!'

The VBS'er clicked his mouse:
Long time the comment board he lurked--
And then read he, teh cray zee® lay dee,
And saw something that irked.

And after he sent a well-thought post,
The Frischerbat, with mouth of slime,
Misunderstood the clever roast,
Just like she did last time!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
Her head is dense with meat!
Whether one's a dupe, or not in the loop,
The argument was neat.

And hast thou been banned by Frischerbat?
Come to our site, my funny boy!
Deleted post? Post again and post away!
Let us all, your words, enjoy.

'Twas frischy, and the tired peeps
Did hoot and gibber at the mofo;
All batty were the lunar creeps,
And teh WTF Vodka™ did flow.

 
At 6:03 PM, Blogger Sulla said...

wtg sinner! LOL

You too, Joe!

dang ... no time to get creative, but the urge is building...

 
At 6:08 PM, Blogger Mariposa said...

OK, fess up. Who posted this truly special comment on the post about Dr. Jennifer Freyd?

Comments: on-deck circle

I like the picture.

I'm feeling kinda funny - like when I'm climing the rope in gym class...

Be back in a minute.
Posted by at August 16, 2006 01:31 PM

 
At 6:12 PM, Blogger joeschmo1of3 said...

Party on Wayne! Party on Garth!

Excellent! Excellent!

I wish 'twere I, but 'twasn't.

Whoah, 'twasn't, now that's just weird.

 
At 6:13 PM, Blogger Hawksp said...

You guys definately got teh funny down.

The daughter unit heard me chuckling upstairs and came to see what I was laughing about.

Now the VBS kids have one more fan.

She thinks you guys are a hoot.

 
At 6:15 PM, Blogger Sulla said...

I was the Garth sockpuppet.

Bad me. :)

 
At 6:15 PM, Blogger Mr. Calgary said...

Now that's comedy!

 
At 6:30 PM, Blogger Mariposa said...

Thank you for the entertainment Sulla!

I have to say, I really wonder sometimes at her choices of comments to publish. Does she see the humor and popular culture references and put them up or does she just have no clue?

 
At 6:33 PM, Blogger SBH said...

Frabjous work, joeschmo!! I chrotle with glee!!!!!!!!

 
At 6:34 PM, Blogger SBH said...

Um, that was "chortle".

 
At 6:36 PM, Blogger joeschmo1of3 said...

sbh:

Callooh! Callay! Let us all chortle in our glee!

 
At 6:46 PM, Blogger believe4me said...

Sinner, Joe, John Henry,

You guys rock.

 
At 6:55 PM, Blogger OttavaRima said...

okay. i've had three glasses of pinot noir (i am not drinking any **ephing** merlot) and i will confess i'm a bit tipsy.

very nice, sinner. as usual.

and as usual, too, very nice joe. lovely, lovely jabberwocky.

but, is teh crazy® slip sliding away? did teh lawyers get to her?

 
At 6:58 PM, Blogger BrendaK said...

Mariposa -

As has been pointed out to her repeatedly, Demented Deb has no understanding of popular culture at all.

Which begs the question, how in the heck she does enjoy Colbert? She must only 'get' 1/3 of his schtick -- on the other hand, she thinks he's a legimate news source.

 
At 7:01 PM, Blogger BrendaK said...

OttavaRima -

Today, in advance of teh cycle®, she held a conversation with several of her stuffed animals.

Her seal informed her, at some point, that it was not a seal but was rather 1/2 lab, 1/2 seal.

Teh crazy® lives. Trust in teh cycle®.

Oooooom.

 
At 7:07 PM, Blogger joeschmo1of3 said...

OttavaRima:

Are we listening to some Paul Simon while sipping pinot noir?

Teh cycle® feeds on political disagreement, and she just hasn't been going off on any political topic. But, remember to trust in teh cycle®, it's only Wednesday.

 
At 7:18 PM, Blogger Fatwa Arbuckle said...

Sinner - You got back on teh funny horse; cheers!

joeschmo1of3 - Here's one back atcha:

Speak roughly to our little Frisch
And taunt her when she's lazy
I trust you share my mid-week wish
For lots more of teh crazy®

John Henry - I somehow missed your challenge to Deb earlier. Good on ya; sadly, she'll probably wuss-out.

 
At 7:19 PM, Blogger joeschmo1of3 said...

Hey Sinner!

We should be calling Wednesday's around here Frischmas Eve. And how many "reindeer" are there anyway?

Yes Virginia, there is teh cray zee® lay dee.

 
At 7:23 PM, Blogger OttavaRima said...

1/2 lab 1/2 seal?

see that picture right there? that lab is totally insulted to be thrown into the pot with a seal.

okay. step 1. what is step 1?

but we know the ooohhhm: trust teh crazy®

trust teh cycle®

 
At 7:23 PM, Blogger joeschmo1of3 said...

Fatwa!

Good one! And thanks!

To paraphrase Christopher Walken on SNL: More teh crazy®!

 
At 7:33 PM, Blogger Sulla said...

Debbie At The Blog
by Sulla
(apologies to Ernest L. Thayer)

The outlook wasn't happy for the leftist blogosphere,
The protein wisdom juggernaut was like a truck to deer.

And when lefties got their hineys stomped, and anti-semites too
A funereal silence stalked the taunters of the Jew.

The folks from Sadly, No got up to go in deep despair.
From Thersites to Actus? Protein Wisdom didn't care.
They thought, "if only Debbie could but get a whack at that.
We'd put up even money now, with Deb the Proud Moonbat."

Then Deb went after Israel, and called herself a pet,
but comment standards were too high for Deb's soused wit to get.

So upon that leftist multitude grim melancholy stirred,
for there seemed no happy sign of fight from the warrior of word.

So Jeff ignored her ramblings to no great surprise of all,
And Deb, the much reviled, added gall, to gall, to gall.

And when the night had lifted,
and folks saw what had occurred,
there was Ramsey in the comments, from the warrior of word.

Then from five thousand blogs and more there rouse an outraged yell;
it enraged the Right in heaven, it appalled the Left in hell;

it pounded through the mile-high burgh and recoiled in old Eugene;
for Debbie, Doctor Debbie, had surpassed herself in mean.

There was wine in Debbie's system as she staggered to her chair,
there was pride in Debbie's bearing as she thought Colbert would care.

And when, responding to the jeers, she shouted to 'my peeps,'
no stranger in the crowd could doubt Deb's act gave them the creeps.

A thousand eyes were on her as she looked for folks to sue
A thousand comments blazed back that her hubris she would rue.

Then, as Jeff's expert lawyer covered bases one by one,
defiance flashed in Debbie's eye. She made a vodka run.

And now the judge's order came a-hurtling through the air,
and Debbie rocked while clutching it in haughty grandeur there.

Straight from the county sheriff, the RO barely read,
"I got a list --" said Debbie.

"Shut up!" her lawyer said.
From the Blogspot, thick with posters, there went up a muffled roar,
like the beating of the storm waves on a stern and distant shore.

"The crowd from VBS is mean!" anonymous demands,
and it's likely they'd have flamed him had not Debbie raised her hands.

Her blissed-out buzz was fading fast, her pitch-black aura shone,
she hit the keyboard one more time and bade the game go on.

She posted Dave Duchoveny, and once more the heckling flew,
but Debbie rapped with "Steve Colbert," as though the folks were through.

"Heh!" cried the online razzers, and some echoed "Heh. Indeed!"
Then one "plushy" pic from Debbie and they thought she'd switched to weed.

They'd said her monkey humped teh seal, they said she'd gone insane,
and they knew that Debbie couldn't let Teh Cycle ® wane again.

The sneer has fixed to Debbie's lip, the teeth are clenched in rage.
She pounds, with cruel violence, the keys that fill the page.

In court, his lawyer hits F5, and when Hizzoner grants,
He fills the courtroom's corners with latest South()paw rants.

Oh, somewhere in the Scholar's world the Left is taking flight.
Ward Churchill's speaking somewhere, and somewhere there's no Right.
And, somewhere men are silenced, and Sapphic women shout,

but there is no joy in Frischville --
Doctor Debbie has flunked out.

 
At 7:39 PM, Blogger Fatwa Arbuckle said...

joeschmo1of3 -

To paraphrase Christopher Walken on SNL: More teh crazy®!

That caused a mental image of Will Ferrell whacking a MIDI controller triggering Howard Dean's campaign-ending "YEEARGH!" (Similar to the button on Dennis Miller's ill-fated MSNBC show.)

Sulla -

I am humbled...that was awesome.

 
At 7:48 PM, Blogger joeschmo1of3 said...

Sulla! Sulla! Sulla!

 
At 7:59 PM, Blogger BrendaK said...

sullaaaaaaaaa!

You da man!

 
At 8:48 PM, Blogger SBH said...

...a moment of appreciative silence before I run to share that epic with the family

 
At 9:25 PM, Blogger BrendaK said...

Why more talent at poetry?

We are brilliant, insightful, attractive, generally sane, possess exquisite commedic timing and are on the side of the angels (rather snarky angels, but still).

Which, you really can't say about lil' debbie.

 
At 9:40 PM, Blogger OregonMuse said...

Good heavens. I'm impressed, not only by the poetry writing, which I have absolutely no talent for, but also at how fast you guys can crank it out.

Very nice.

And so, here's my own impression of Christopher Walken:

I've got a fee-vah -- and the only prescription is more cRaZee®!

 
At 10:57 PM, Blogger Sulla said...

Thanks for the love, folks! I've been laughing at the great stuff in this thread - and doing more than just laughing from the other threads and the great people who make them come alive. Good people, all of you.

And to think our collective Muse was a mere gadfly two months ago.

I wish she'd never sowed the wind with Jeff, Froggy, et al. But it's been a blast joining you all in the whirlwind.

 
At 3:53 AM, Blogger Hawksp said...

Sulla,

Epic brilliance, but in the words of Chris Walken...

Track two was even better than the first. But, you're going to want that cray zee.

 
At 7:06 AM, Blogger Staci said...

You guys rocked. Just wow! And the grand finale from sulla!!

For some reason I was getting a picture in my head of Deb, wasted, holding her WTF Vodka like Gollum from LOTR, saying My Precious over and over.

Yikes

 

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